All I Wanted Was A Kiss
by nekobotan
Summary: Shounen ai, sappy, humor, nontimeline, perhaps out of character. Duo wants something from Heero, and Quatre from Trowa and they have a plan. 1x2, 3x4, 5x13.
1. Part 1

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

**Revised, Completed** 10/04

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 1

One kiss.

That's all I was after. One simple little kiss, chaste and dry, or at least moist and warm. I guess it was a lot to ask from mister frown-sneer-then shoot. Yes, yes it was.

One kiss... I snorted, startling Quatre out of a doze. He grunted softly in surprise, and blinked his shiny eyes at me.

"Sorry," I muttered. His expression was forgiving, or maybe he was still half asleep? _ Asleep, _ I confirmed as a light snoring sound emanated from Quatre's direction. No surprise there-- ninety-seven percent of the class had their foreheads smashed against the desks, or their chins propped precariously on one fist. thump Ooo, that had to hurt...

The other three percent were alive and alert in their chairs: Trowa, Heero and I, although I had a sneaking suspicion that Trowa had fallen asleep with his eyes open... No possibility of that with Heero or me. Heero was frowning at the professor to continue on with his lecture, whether or not it was boring as hell.

Me? I was watching Heero, thinking 'bout that one little thing I wanted from him, but could never have.

_ Never? _ I was startled at so quick a conclusion on my part. _ Giving up so easily? Me?! That just won't do. _ I grinned evilly, moving the corners of my mouth part way to my ears. I scribbled on my notes-- smooch! -- for encouragement.

_ Duo Maxwell, Gundam pilot extraordinare, never gives up-- unless I'm playing chess with Quatre, then it's okay to give up because there's just no damn way I could ever win against him-- _

"MISTER Maxwell, is there something especially amusing about the digestive system of a worm?"

Well, that wiped the smile off of my face, or most of it. I shook my head gleefully--

"Nothing on what comes out of a worm's ass could ever be amusing, Mr. Collins."

Wrong answer, I would tell myself later, as I sat in a very uncomfortable detention desk all through lunch. _ Probably should have told him what I was really thinking about-- then he wouldn't have been able to put me in detention because he'd have to call the ambulance to resuscitate Heero after chronic heart failure. Yep. There's an escape plan for ya. _

* * *


	2. Part 2

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

**Revised, Completed** 10/04

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 2

About that one little kiss; it was gonna be hard. Quite hard, because Heero wouldn't let me get close enough to plant one on him. He had a thing about personal space-- at least three feet at all times. Four feet it if it was me. Now he had a good seven feet, because he'd perched himself at the very opposite end of the library study table, and he wasn't going to get any closer, not if his life or mine depended on it...

"Why are you rubbing your butt, Duo?" Quatre demanded in exasperation after I shifted at the library table for the third time to massage my sore cheeks. I gave Quatre a wry grin.

"Relieving some tension, my friend. Relieving some tension," and I glanced pointedly at Heero, blissfully oblivious in his studies. Quatre looked perplexed for a second, but then that bright light bulb in his head flared into life, sending small beams of light out from his ears and nose. He gave me a dirty look, and I pursed my lower lip while I massaged harder.

"Tension my ass," he grumbled. Quatre leaned over his homework with a huff.

"I believe it was my ass we were talking about," I objected. I gave Heero another look, then descended on Quatre. The kid never had a chance sitting next to me; I was an irritant and we both knew it, but I was fun too. Ah, the mystery of me.

"I've been sitting too long," I explained. "First detention, now this study group. I need some exercise. You do too." Quatre raised both eyebrows at my presumptuousness. What can I say? I'm presumptuous. I grinned and whispered at him "Hey, you can't stay in your room and make moony eyes at Trowa forever--"

I stepped over some line with that. Quatre's eyes darkened a bit, almost sadly, and he looked at the other end of the table in near panic. Trowa couldn't have heard; he and Heero were discussing some nameless theorem or postulate or other.

"Please, Duo," Quatre murmured warningly. He kept his clear gaze on Trowa, and I realized that I really shouldn't have opened my big mouth-- Quatre relayed as much. "Don't talk about things you don't understand."

And so he left. Stood right up, piled his books neatly and hefted them. Trowa and Heero looked up accordingly, and watched Quatre glide off from the gloom of the library.

I... was disgusted with myself. _ You're quite the bastard, _ I scolded silently.

About that one kiss?

Yeah, Santa, I'm talking to you.

... get me one for Quatre, too, 'cause man, he needs to get laid as much as I do. Oh. I meant kissed.

* * *


	3. Part 3

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

**Revised, Completed** 10/04

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 3

I begged for mercy, and I got down on all fours. I wrapped my arms around his knees and sobbed. My voice was hoarse and cracked as I pleaded to him--

"Geeeeze Duo," Quatre groaned as he tried to pry me off of his foot. I noted his embarrassed, blood red face and Trowa's wide eye across the room. I also kept my hold as he dragged me from the door to his bed, and fell half way there. His groan was louder, and more mortified.

"Please forgive me!" I sniffled, crawling across the floor to throw myself on his back. The satisfying sound of air rushing out of his lungs made me grin, but I quickly let out a keening cry of misery, and squashed Quatre again. "Pleaaaaaase Quatre! I beg of you, I never meant to hurt you in _that_ way!"

"Aaarrrghh!" Was the only mortified answer I received. Quatre wriggled beneath me, and, implementing the second phase of my plan, I let him up.

After the first volley of furious fists and kicks, Quatre calmed. Good sign. I motioned for him to come closer, and only after a long suffering sigh he complied.

"I've got a bitchin' plan." At Quatre's blank look, I figured I should explain. Apparently not everyone shared in the genius that was Duo Maxwell's... genius.

"We're gonna get you what you want, and me what I want." I sighed when Quatre gave me another blank look, this one more on the verge of a 'Duo's crazy' look. "You want Trowa," he glared as I continued "I want Heero."

The pause after my admission was short, and buzzing. Trowa turned the page of his book, and Quatre was decided.

"We should talk outside," he announced, rising from the ground and smiling politely at Trowa. "If you'll excuse us." He led the way.

Mwahahaha-- that one kiss?

I gave it a day. Two at the max.

Then, Heero Yuy would be mine.

At least for one kiss... then he'd probably kill me... but still, that one little kiss....

* * *


	4. Part 4

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

**Revised, Completed** 10/04

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 4

Now, I did have a plan, I really did, and it seemed like a good one until Quatre came a long. He had to go and spoil that special illusion that when I threw myself at Heero, and when Quatre jumped Trowa, we'd kiss their brains out, they'd let us, and we'd live happily ever after.

"Wishful thinking," I sighed.

"Defective logic," Quatre offered instead. I didn't think it was my defective logic, it was Quatre's twitching eye. _Okay, so not the best plan... _

I sighed again, and swung my feet forlornly. I was perched on one of the sinks in the boy's lavatory. After checking the stalls, urinals, nooks and crannies, Quatre had turned the dead bolt, and we began our vicious plot...

"So, what do you suggest--?" I choked on the last syllable, because Quatre was grinning. But this was no ordinary Quatre grin; this was positively devious, evil even. I shivered.

"We're going to seduce them," he purred. Quatre's voice echoed slightly against the linoleum porcelain and metal. I shivered and squeaked.

"S-seduce them?" That word, from Quatre's mouth... Talk about sinister. It sounded like we were going to go bring someone to their untimely demise. And from the smirk on Quatre's face, I wasn't so sure that was far from the truth. The vixen!

Suddenly the carnal glitter in Quatre's eyes vanished, just like that; I was dumbfounded as he smiled innocently and bobbed his head.

"Well of course, that's the only obvious solution, and it should be quite effective. We'll have to do a little research of course, and get Wufei to help us--"

"Wufei?" I blinked owlishly at Quatre. "Wufei?!" No offense to Wufei, but-- Wufei?!?

Quatre looked as if Wufei-- ?!?-- were the most obvious answer to all of our problems. I, on the other hand, had some doubts...

"Wufei?!" Apparently I couldn't get past the name thing. "What could Wufei possibly know about seducing? Much less seducing men?" The very idea!

The very idea made Quatre smile, and wink at me. "Wufei is a wise young man," Quatre counseled me. "How do you think he got Treize in the sack?"

"Trieze?!?"

..... I decided that I was going to have to go through a lot more than I originally planned for one little kiss.

Treize?!? And Wufei?!?!?!

* * *


	5. Part 5

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

**Revised, Completed** 10/04

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 5

"One?"

"One."

"Just one?"

"One what?"

"One! One, Duo! You just said--"

"Whoa! I was kidding," I held up my hands defensively; Quatre looked ready to pummel me. Quatre never pummels me but suddenly, he looked very violent. _ Tension,_ I affirmed. _ Maybe he needs a good butt rub? _ I thought about suggesting that to him... but the nerve pulsing in his temple convinced me to refrain.

"You want 'one' kiss?" He tried again, glaring balefully at me. This guy was like Mr. Emotional Wonder; he could go from tragic to evil, to innocent and murderous, way, way too easily. Uh oh, there goes that nerve again--

"Yeah. I mean, that's all I really expect to get, 'cause Heero'll smash my head into itty bitty pieces." I grinned. No, I wasn't looking forward to dying-- who does?-- it was just that once in a lifetime chance (literally) to kiss somebody. _Hell, maybe he won't kill me-- _

_Just maim me. Bludgeon me with his laptop. Make a few dents, then leave me for dead. _

Yep, that sounded about right.

"Hmm," Quatre offered sympathetically. We slowed our brisk pace as we neared Wufei's door; there was a very prominent sign curled around the knob; 'Do Not Disturb'. I looked at Quatre, and Quatre looked at me with his bright blue eyes.

"You think that means anything?" I asked nonchalantly, gesturing to the flimsy note. He seemed to ponder this, and even touched index finger and thumb to the curve of his chin.

"No," he stated at last. "It's just a sign, and what do signs mean anyway?" Quatre smiled, pleased with his deduction. I smiled back, and nodded encouragingly.

And, of course, I let him knock, then backed up behind him, just in case.

Hey, I wanted to live to be kissed. I quote a famous? (living) person; 'there is only one thing to do when you and your friend are being chased by a dragon: trip your friend'... Ahh, the wonders of bait.

* * *


	6. Part 6

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

**Revised, Completed** 10/04

**Note:** I can't remember who called Wufei 'little dragon' first... Some lovely fic elsewhere... homage, here, then. .

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 6

The door opened inward with an ominous creak; the hinges either needed to be oiled, or this was an omen, definitely an omen... I started sweating, and wringing my hands nervously. I wondered if I could make it to the end of the hall before the dragon-- er, Wufei, gobbled up Quatre...

_I dunno. The guy runs pretty fast, and Quatre wouldn't be much of a mouthful... _ Alas, my thought processes were too slow. A puff of acrid smoke swirling from the door heralded our doom...

I heard Quare sniffing suddenly, and he smiled dazzlingly. "Incense?"

I sniffed reluctantly; well yes, the smoke wasn't acrid, and it smelled a lot like pine. Still.

Wufei scowled at the pair of us, and dragged his dark eyes slowly, deliberately to his door knob where the 'Do Not Disturb' sign was swinging cheerfully. He looked up at us with a meaningful brow raised.

"Quatre said we should knock even though that sign was there I totally said we should wait till tomorrow and not disturb you but Quatre wouldn't listen--" jab

Quatre, who wouldn't listen, rammed his elbow into the tender space between my lower ribs. He's got a sharp elbow, lemme tell ya. _ Completely uncalled for--_ it was!

"You're lucky that wasn't your ass," he added menacingly. His pink tongue darted out between his lips in a 'brief' moment of immaturity, then he turned to Wufei to repair the damage my runaway mouth had inflicted. I clutched my lower cheeks protectively, earning more than an unnerved stare from Wufei for it.

Somebody had to protect my investments. Investments, ass, either were very near and dear to me. Especially my ass.

"We need your help," Quatre soothed. He smiled gently at Wufei, who hardly seemed affected by such a show of innocence. He stood resolutely inside his doorway, effectively blocking our view or our entry inside. _Could this be a hint? _

"With what?" Wufei demanded suspiciously. "If it's one of Maxwell's practical jokes I'm shutting this door and not opening it until Monday--" He started to step back into his room and shut the door. I would have let him-- Wufei? Seduction? Just didn't add up-- But...

_... soft, burning lips quivering and breathing rapidly, whispering unintelligible things, things that sounded like a prayer, or a plea... one kiss... _

With my resolution much firmer (not to mention other parts... well, not to mention them), I threw myself at Wufei's door, squeezing my hands into the waning space between frame and wood. Quatre apparently had the same idea because I lunged into and with him. Our combined force and speed was no match for Wufei's startled, and rather horrified screech.

We tumbled inside as the door crashed open. Quatre flattened Wufei, and I flattened Quatre, creating a sandwich of Gundam pilots on Wufei's hardwood floor. The smell of wafting pine flavored smoke grew stronger, and I coughed lightly.

_Wait a minute, I didn't cough. And Quatre and Wufei can't breathe (oops). _ I strained my neck muscles to look around the misty room. There was someone on Wufei's bed. Did Wufei have a roommate?

"... friends of yours, little dragon?"

* * *


	7. Part 7

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

**Revised, Completed** 10/04

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 7

The cool seductive voice was emanating from the half reclining figure of Treize Kushrenada (an also half naked Treize, might I add). Only a bare slip of a sheet covered his lower extremities, and the rest was liable to run rampant with one's imagination. My imagination decided to go frolicking in the moonlight...

I started to drool. Quatre let out an indignant shout when my drool drizzled onto his shirt, and I was shoved unceremoniously away from the dog pile. Wufei struggled and hissed like a wild cat, and started trying to herd Quatre and I out of the room.

"Out! I can't believe you two would invade my privacy like this--!!"

I interrupted him with an insistent tug to his shirt. He glared daggers at me, but I had to know--

"Is Treize your roommate? Because if he is then I seriously think I got gypped-- I mean, Heero won't even take off his pants in front of me, much less get in my bed stark naked--!"

"Hmm," Quatre warbled in agreement. He was leaning toward the bed, reaching to lift up the sheet from Treize. I saw a sudden blur of skin and heard a sharp smack! Quatre withdrew his hand as if scalded, and gave Wufei's hovering, menacing form, a hurt look.

"I want you out of this room before I can no longer restrain myself from doing you both bodily harm--!" I winced as Wufei's voice rose and strained to a near shrill scream. I started crawling toward the door because, see, I know when I'm not wanted.

"But Wufei," Quatre sniffled. There was that insane change of depth again; from perverted tendencies to kicked puppy dog mode. I risked a look back, from my retreat in the doorway. "Duo and I need your help to seduce Heero and Trowa!"

"I don't care!" Wufei snapped. Really, truly snapped. He grabbed the nearest thing-- ooh, Treize's face went about as red as Wufei's after that grab-- then a pillow narrowly missed taking Quatre's head off. He scrambled back, convinced now of his own mortality and Wufei's desire to strip it from him. I waited bravely at the door for Quatre's safe return--

_Run, flee! Save your self! What ever happened to 'run from dragon, trip your friend'?! _

Before I could witness the murder of a close friend, Treize rose from the bed and tucked the sheet close around his waist, although what semblance of modesty he hoped to achieve was lost on me. He approached Wufei from behind and caught his wildly flailing arms firmly. Wufei froze as Treize kissed his neck, then he melted.

_ Now that is talent. Watch and learn, kiddos; how to slay a dragon. _ I grinned stupidly.

Treize looked up from his deep contemplation of which inch of Wufei's neck to pursue, and winked at Quatre and I.

"We'll be glad to help," he purred, then nibbled lightly on Wufei's ear.

I melted.

* * *


	8. Part 8

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

**Revised, Completed** 10/04

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 8

"One."

"Yeah, just one."

"Then what do you need my help for? It's just one--"

"One?"

This conversation was getting old.

"That's all Duo wants," Quatre insisted.

He was sitting beside me on the floor in front of Wufei (and Treize's) bed, because we were good little boys and it was funny watching Wufei try to squirm from Treize's firm grip. It was like watching a fly in a spider's web, writhing desperately to escape.

_How come they never show this on the Discovery Channel?! _

"What do you want, then?" Wufei demanded from beneath his pillow. He'd smashed it over his head when Treize began nibbling on his ear. "If it's as ludicrous as Maxwell's 'desires'" Wufei paused to snort "you're on your own. I don't see why you came to me anyway--"

"You have Treize," Quatre interrupted brightly. "Who better to instruct us in the art of seduction, than you? You've managed to get our enemy in the sack, and he seems quite content to stay there!"

While I expected Quatre's giggling admonition to make Wufei blush, I didn't expect the look of utter surprise on Treize's face. He studied Quatre's gentle smile for a moment, then looked down at his suddenly very silent bed mate.

"You, got me, 'in the sack'?" Treize repeated wistfully. Wufei tried to bury himself further beneath the pillow. "Wherever did they get that idea?"

Poor Quatre looked bewildered. "You mean Wufei didn't seduce you?"

Wufei was now a minuscule ball, curled defensively, and hoping vainly to disappear from sight. "I never said I did!" He whimpered.

Treize's smile could have been one of supreme amusement, or of completely carnal interests. He smoothed out the bed sheet over Wufei's back.

"My, my, little dragon. They're more confident in your-- capabilities-- than you are."

Wufei didn't respond.

_I think he smothered himself under all those pillows..._

"Oh," Quatre's plan deflated with an undignified whoosh "So Wufei didn't... Oh."

Wufei didn't seduce Treize. Treize seduced Wufei. _Now that sounds more appropriate,_ I admitted. Quite disappointing, too.

One kiss. All I wanted. Such a simple request, nothing big. I'd need help, but one would swear it impossible to obtain.

Quatre's sniffle was my only warning. He was suddenly wrapping one arm around my neck and sobbing quite loudly. I felt my chin quiver, and tears gathering.

"We're never going to get laid!" I shrieked.

Commence breakdown, and abandonment of all hope. We blubbered like fools on Wufei's floor, holding each other for comfort but finding only despair--

WHACK

"Get a hold of yourselves," Wufei snarled, past the twinkling stars swirling around my head. He shook his head in disgust, and shuffled back to the bed, trusty iron pillow in hand. He continued ranting, unaffected by our dazed expressions.

"You will get laid because Yuy and Barton are about as desperate as you two are. Well, not as desperate; they never came crawling to me and they most certainly never bawled like children--"

I swatted away the lingering spots in my vision, obtained from being cracked over the head with the Pillow of Doom. Wufei was insulting my pride, my dignity, my manhood--!! _ Wait... did he just say Heero and Trowa were interested?!_p> Quatre had caught that as well. He'd managed to brush off the attack with more finesse than I, so he was able to catch Wufei's pant leg before he could retreat to the bed. Wufei paused to give him a withering glare, but was suddenly under the damning influence of those shimmering blue eyes.

"Wufei," Quatre whispered pitifully. "What do you know about Trowa and Heero? Have-- have they said anything?" Quatre's eyes rose another notch on the 'Irresistible Scale' by going into Ultra Shimmery Overdrive. "Please Wufei--"

_ Whoa, I thought only Quatre had that nerve twitch-- _

"As I've said," Wufei ground out between clenched teeth. He was a strong man, to resist Quatre's wiles. I would have thrown myself (further) to the ground at Quatre's feet, begging for mercy from The Eyes. "You're all transparent. Mooning after each other-- it's sickening. And Treize will help you just to get you the hell out of my room--"

"Really?" Quatre breathed. He was dragged a few feet forward by his death grip on Wufei's pants. Quatre turned his head (think _The Exorcist_) to bestow the enemy among us with the pleasure/pain of his Look.

I cheered silently, and gave Treize full marks for covering his eyes. Wufei managed to shake Quatre off of his leg, somehow, and he dove into the bed. Treize wrapped him in sheets, and cuddled him like the teddy bear Wufei was not.

The night looked more optimistic. Quatre hugged me joyously, and we wiggled closer to the bed, as instructor Treize and his assistant Ms. Wufei (who didn't like to be called Ms. Wufei, but was hailed as such anyway) began their lessons.

Thirty minutes into the session, Wufei snapped, again, and started swinging the pillow, yelling something about sleep and come back tomorrow after dawn preferably. Quatre and I made a hasty retreat (we ran like terrified chickens, but it could have been easily confused with a dignified flight).

One; one sweet moment. A millisecond, if necessary. That's all I needed (although I wanted much more). It seemed within my grasp! _ Tomorrow, _ I continued dreamily. _ A kiss... _

* * *


	9. Part 9

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

**Note:** From this part on, it was written after my bout of psychotic humor, so it's probably in a different style, and a lot less funny. ;

**Revised, Completed** 10/04

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 9

Did I say tomorrow? I meant never.  
  
Wufei was true to his word: Treize conducted lessons as often he was a guest in Wufei's bed (every night for a solid week!), although lessons were often cut short by... ehem... you know... you know-- it's a bed... with two sexy men in it... instructing two wide-eyed students (I only fell asleep once) on the wiles and ways and methods and the certain places that exist, where one can lick or bite to have complete control over one's subject...

"... Why is my pillow in your lap _oh my god nevermind_ keep it there, Maxwell, no, no, I don't want it anymore--"

Anyway, we had lessons as often as we could, we researched diligently in the school library... That lasted for about twenty minutes, because the only book there that was about sex was only ten pages long, had no pictures, and was about forty years old. I repeat: no pictures!

We expended an inestimable amount of effort; the plan was destined to work!

It was just taking so damn long!

"What was that?"

Sigh. "What was what, Maxwell?"

"What he just did to you," I squeezed my pillow-- formerly known as Wufei's pillow, but he was kind enough to let me keep it-- and I gestured with my hand. "The thing he did to your ear."

Wufei's eyes widened slightly, and he responded quickly. "Nothing. It was nothing. Now quit interrupting-- continue Treize--"

"That was not nothing!" I objected. I knew something when I saw... something... it-- whatever! Treize had leaned over during his erotic oration-- tonight's focus was hands; various veins and nerves that were most sensitive to touch, and licks... Quatre was taking notes... _ I should take notes... _ too busy gaping...--

Treize had leaned over and just brushed his bottom lip across the rim of Wufei's ear. It was like he'd whispered something, but no sound had come from his lips. Whatever it was, Wufei's body shuddered, he'd closed his eyes and slumped over into the position I'd come to recognize as The Arousal of Wufei... one of the Three Stages of Wufei, discovered through practicing the Most Successful Attention-Garnering Actions That Can Be Done To Wufei, Without Him Trying To Kill You.

Whew. That's a lot of capitals; and there are very few things that can be done to Wufei, that won't result in him trying to kill you. I should know.

Anyhow, with all the time I'd spent around Wufei, specifically Wufei in the presence of Treize, I knew what excited the guy. grin Me and Quatre were voyeurs! Good ones, too!

_ We have to be,_ I reminded myself. _ Gotta soak up as much learnin' as we can, before we set out on our own. _ Yes, the time was nearing to partake of our most perilous journey yet... the one through which we may never survive...

"It was nothing," Wufei graveled again. "Now do you want to continue this, or do you want to go back to your rooms? I've got plenty of other work I could be doing instead of baby-sitting you two perverts--"

"Perverts?" Quatre interjected. He wasn't insulted by the comment; he looked intrigued, and grinned sweetly. "That's funny."

"That's what you are!" Wufei roared. "Coming in here every night when we're... when we're here... watching him do things to me--" he had to stop, because Treize was doing things to him again, and he had to beat the guy off with the Pillow of Ultimate Doom (renamed after a lump had formed on my head from being beaten with it too many times).

"Stop it! I'm trying to-- Treize!"

Quatre sighed suddenly, and it was the sound one makes when one has completed a most tiring project. "I think we're ready," he announced quietly.

"Wow! I didn't know you could bend like that!" I cheered. Wufei shrieked.

"Duo, we're ready."

"Look at him go!" I laughed heartily and patted Quatre's back. He was sitting next to me on the floor, neatening his notes and trying to get my attention for some reason. _ Who cares! Treize has the longest tongue I've ever seen!! _

"Duo," he tried again, poking my pillow (that got me). "Did you hear?"

I finally looked at him. His eyes were expectant, his face serious and determined. I nodded...

"Ehh, what did you say?"

WHACK!

"DAMNIT! Why'd you both hit me??" I shouted, rubbing my nose and the top of my head, both having been assailed by the Pillow of Ultimate Doom and Quatre's notebook, at the same time. _ Geeze, what do they do, coordinate attacks?? _ I wouldn't be surprised...

Quatre stood up, ignoring my pained protest. "I said we're ready! I've got all the notes we could need, especially for your mission." He paused and looked at me. "You know, you didn't really need all these lessons, if you only want one kiss."

I paused. Wufei paused. Treize shook his head derisively and flopped down on the bed.

_ Damn. They figured me out... _

"Moral support?" I suggested.

"PERVERT!!"

* * *


	10. Part 10

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap! It was going to be a lemon, but I dunno... too tame, I think...

**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?

**Note:** Written after my bout of psychotic humor, so it's probably in a different style, and a lot less funny. ;

**Revised, Completed** 10/04

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 10

Lessons over, phase one was to be initiated. How?

_ I have no freaking clue, _ I mourned.

Quatre waved his encouragement to me as he entered his room, and I responded in like. It was late afternoon, Friday, everyone was either out on the town or relaxing in their rooms. Knowing the social habits of our victims was useful; both would be isolated and ripe for the taking...

Whatever. Trowa was in his room, reading, completely zoned out but accessible because it was dear old Quatre, his favoritest person in the world. _ He didn't need those lessons, _ I grumped. _ Like Wufei said, if Trowa were any less of a soldier he'd be salivating every time Quatre walked into a room. _

I sighed. At least Quatre was assured a neat, easy victory (woo hoo! sex!). I on the other hand...

Heero would be in his room as well, playing on his laptop, exercising, cleaning up the mess I always made in the bathroom, or doing homework. He was the one that required extra cunning, extra stealth to get within kissing range. Wufei had very little information on him; only that he was interested. He didn't know how much, or why exactly, he just "knew".

Well, the supreme knowledge of Wufei, sex-god though he exhorted himself to be, was not enough to convince me that I would even get to purse my lips, much less get near Heero.

Perhaps it was a lack of confidence that was getting me down. Perhaps the irrational sense of self-preservation that I seemed to be cursed with. After all, there was no guarantee that Heero would murder me, if I tried to kiss him...

_ Yes there is. I guarantee he'll do something, anything, to harm me, if I lay one on him. I bet myself ten dollars-- _ That wouldn't work-- it would be my ten dollars anyway...

So betting was off.

I was right, though! The danger, the absolute certainty of death...!

_... brushing my lips close to his ear, breathing, panting softly, hearing him gasp beneath me, shiver, whisper my name... _

My eyes bulged. Since when did I imagine one kiss like that?? I hopped up and down, wringing my hands and bouncing forward in my cough enthusiasm; I had approached the door to my room without noticing, having been distracted in my meanderings of inner conflict...

Heero was in; the door was shut and locked, so I had to use my key. The door opened into a shadowed room, the only source of light coming from the screen of his laptop, obstructed by the shape of his head and shoulders, but clearly visible perched on top of his desk...

... which was directly across the room from the door...

... which I could leave open, or part way, for an escape route... _ I know he's fast, but he's always so absorbed when he plays on that thing... _ I bit my lip. _ I might get an extra second or two head start, and that's all I'd need to get down the stairs, and out the front door... _

_... this could work... _

_... I could kiss him, just once, just one time on his cheek or even his mouth if I angle it right. _

The grin that formed on my face rivaled the grin I had when I first filled Wufei's shampoo container with paint. It was the grin of power, the grin of soon-to-come pain, a quirk of my mouth to represent an awesome, awesome feeling of completion...

... I shuffled forward...

* * *


	11. Part 11

**All I Wanted Was A Kiss**  
Gundam Wing shounen ai fanfiction by Tan

This is an attempt at humor; I haven't done humor in a long time, if I can say that I ever have. ::shrug:: . Humor and sap!  
**Warnings:** shounen ai (1x2, 3x4, 5x13, with no special connotations on who's on top), loose rating of R. Sap, odd humor (very odd), Duo's P.O.V., sinister Quatre, worldly Wufei. And this is one of those 'school' fics, where they're all at the same school, yadda yadda, non-timeline, but we can pretend can't we?  
**Disclaimers:**: I don't own Gundam Wing or any characters within.  
**Note:** Written after my bout of psychotic humor, so it's probably in a different style, and a lot less funny. ;  
**Revised, Completed** 10/04

* * *

All I Wanted Was A Kiss  
PART 11

"Shut the door."

I froze. _ Shut the-- what the hell?? _ Heero was quiet after his command, but I had yet to respond. I almost panicked, almost... but the image of my kiss, my kiss, his lips...

_ I have to do this. _ I steeled my jaw. _ I have to, for the sake of Quatre, for the sake of humanity, my sanity, for Wufei and the surprise I left on his pillow-- _ the shaving cream --

_ Now. _

My legs were unsteady as I staggered forward, but they gained strength; I knew adrenaline would fuel me in my flight, would drive me in pursuit of safety after I savored that one blissful moment...

"Shut the do--"

SMOOCH

That's exactly what it sounded like. My face squashed into his, my lips planted themselves over his mouth, and I gasped so this weird pocket of air formed and kind of squished... It was weird. But nice. I closed my eyes and sighed...

_ This is nice, _ I repeated. _ Yeah. It's nice. _

Alarm! Alarm! Warning, danger Duo Maxwell, danger! I frowned. _ What's with all the flashing lights and sirens in my head? _

I broke away from Heero to breathe, and then... then... it hit me...

No, he hadn't planted his fist in the middle of my face (yet)-- _ I kissed him. I finally kissed-- _

Two warm, strong hands planted themselves on the sides of my neck, fingers circling and tightening gently. I blinked. Heero was standing in front of me, eyes wide and focused, hands in a firm grasp around my neck. One thought was predominant:

_ Ha! I'm not dead yet! _

Okay, that one was gallivanting around in my head too, but the less hysterical, more resigned to dying thought was the most important. I'd lived a good life, I had found friends, fought and won countless battles... _ I hope all your dreams come true, Quatre... _ What I really meant: 'I wonder which tricks Quatre is using on Trowa..." He took really detailed notes...

My mind, having run away with me, didn't take note of Hero's grip on my throat tightening, or the sudden change in his posture. He leaned closer, eyes dilating as he neared and his lips parting... Suddenly, I couldn't breathe--

No, Heero didn't choke me to death. And his hands were busy pressing against my jugular, so he didn't punch me in the stomach or the face. He didn't say anything, either.

He kissed me.

His mouth didn't make that squelching noise like mine, and there wasn't as much saliva either, but it was okay...

_ Who the hell am I kidding?? It was great! _ All that hard work, studying, stalking, pining-- all worth it! I knew I'd come through the whole time. I did. Really. Never doubted myself a minute.

We've tried to thank Wufei and Treize; they won't answer the door, though... Quatre and I only hear random thumps, squeaks and rumbling laughter coming from his room-- and believe me, we've listened! Sometimes Trowa and Heero come along, and we camp out with some popcorn and soda. And we kiss, of course. It's nice.  
  
... To think; all I wanted was one, simple little kiss.

* * *

Thank you for reading! :D Hope it was at least slightly amusing , as well as being cliché, predictable, and out of character! yay! Really; thanks for reading! :D 


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